And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Enjoy the penises
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
