i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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