i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
