spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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