but the lizard people decide everything anyway
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
What a dumb baby whore.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
