i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
there was a trapeze. enough said
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
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afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
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I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
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