I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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