and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
