Is it normal to miss your booty call?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
