I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
from now on my penis is your penis
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
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