I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize