I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize
