the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
