if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
