I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
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