Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
