Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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