Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
