If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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