no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
How's work?
Spinning.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
