just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
