I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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