just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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