I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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