Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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