She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
