I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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