sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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