Sober January is a disaster.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
