Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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