i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
