Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Randomize
