Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
