I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
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