he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Randomize
