ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
