respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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