Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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