just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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