oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Randomize
