but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
