Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
why do cheetos always look like penises
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
