He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
nutella sex= disaster
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
