we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
