i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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