So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
