I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
