You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
