He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
