chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just had sex on a roof
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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