i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
