Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
