so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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