the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
