Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper

  (785): View more from Kansas

  He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.

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  (316): I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper (785): He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not. http://tfl.nu/pqqj
  Replies (32) Good night (3371) Bad night (1057)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"

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  (908): there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel" http://tfl.nu/ti94
  Replies (12) Good night (926) Bad night (2184)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like

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  (901): i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like http://tfl.nu/ceub
  Replies (41) Good night (3175) Bad night (994)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.

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  (513): i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot. http://tfl.nu/7qf7
  Replies (30) Good night (3805) Bad night (2858)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same

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  (203): so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same http://tfl.nu/kiu0
  Replies (19) Good night (6081) Bad night (966)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.

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  (253): he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not. http://tfl.nu/7v4r
  Replies (14) Good night (1552) Bad night (3844)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.

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  (973): just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year. http://tfl.nu/md62
  Replies (16) Good night (4592) Bad night (1089)
• Favorite

  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.

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  (+31): bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left. http://tfl.nu/sy8j
  Replies (18) Good night (1456) Bad night (6451)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides

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  (617): I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides http://tfl.nu/z2rz
  Replies (2) Good night (1757) Bad night (597)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.

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  (407): I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water. http://tfl.nu/vrnp
  Replies (1) Good night (929) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.

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  (724): I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast. http://tfl.nu/94l7
  Replies (1) Good night (1056) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one

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  (615): The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one http://tfl.nu/1h27
  Replies (3) Good night (1637) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say

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  (416): She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say http://tfl.nu/mu9a
  Replies (13) Good night (490) Bad night (1625)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"

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  (417): All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?" http://tfl.nu/7ine
  Replies (4) Good night (938) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs

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  (805): It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs http://tfl.nu/6q0t
  Replies (3) Good night (549) Bad night (211)

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