Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
