Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I will be naked everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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