ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
