First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
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My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
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You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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