You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize