I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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