so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
