i used baking grease as lip gloss
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
