You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize