We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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