you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
